The Life Of A Homeless Bum

I'm homeless, it's a harsh reality for many around the world. I'm getting it easy in comparison to some but im not expecting it to be a walk in the park. Hell i might even end up sleeping there if life goes tits up anymore than it already has At 26 years of age a recent split with a woman (cause of all the universes known problems?) has forced me to go it alone. Just a few issues; I have a son, Im poor and I've been assigned temporary accommodation in a former hotel full of junkies and I have no job. Come along for the ride...

Day 3/Night 4: Folks here's a story about Minnie The Moocher!

So i'm woken at 9 by cleaners hoovering and fucking around in rooms. If I had to compare their approach to the job i'd would be that they are like a Spec-Ops SWAT Team. Seriously, these bastards might as well just crash through your window with a hoover in hand. Not sure I can take it while my body is still in a deep sleep, much more and they'll have to scrape shit of my sheets as well!

Post SWAT abuse i'm off to Joshs school to pick him up and off around town to do whatever I can. Took him to the Camera Obscura Museum in town for something different. Was actually quite interesting and he was loving the stuffed Animals of the region. Apparently there are staffing concerns and nobody visits these places though as it closed for lunch from 1-2. Our arrival at 12:50 meant we had nothing more than a fleeting visit into a world of old stuff.

Night was an interesting affair. Dad took me out for dinner and a couple drinks to try pick me up a bit. Very nice. Sat in Wetherspoons with a drink and a menu, when my dad is overcome with the desire for a curry, Thursday is "Spoons" curry night. Now, you have to realize that me and my dad don't just like curry. Its almost like an obsession. Seriously, that stuff is just sooo addictive and I can't get enough and I like it really hot. For those that know me, they will know i have a pretty bad stomach/bowel condition and hot food puts me in agony for days yet I'd still climb over Everest to eat that shiz! So while reviewing the curry menu in spoons we discuss that fact that their microwaveable pish might be OK for your average curry enjoying punter, but, not us. We are aficionados! Luckily, there is a top-notch Indian right across the street. Lets get a pint of Cobra in and get a real curry. Yum! We decided to be a pair of dicks and order the hottest curry in the joint a "Hot Ceylonese", with me ordering Lamb. Lamb is just stunning in a curry, i'd happly slaughter 1000 of them myself if it meant I'd have a steady supply of curry ready meet, NOM. With our stomachs filled to the brim and burning and bubbling away we left for the pub.

The later part of night 4 was a blur. Having had a few drinks, i came home, pissed about online for an hour, witnessed an assault and the ensuing 5 man brawl be broken up by the thin blue line when they were taken away in the back of a van and then crashed out listening to the Blues Brothers...

Comments: Minnie The Moocher is a beastly song, mon' Cab Calloway! Day 4 is going to be a painful one what with my stomach ailment, worth the pain. Some of the cleaners look like they need a good scrubbing, not all, but, some. Would they still qualify as being able to clean or will they just transfer dirt? Gad.

Positives: Nice seeing Josh for a few hours and his random convos and telling people to tidy up in Subway were immensely funny. Slapping the table like Randy Orton does to the mat just before hitting an "RKO" when he got angry cause i told him off was pure gold! Seeing chavs get arrested is always good banter.

Negatives: Although the chavs getting arrested was funny, it just shows how volatile and unsafe this place can be. Leaving Josh is always heart wrenching and can't see me ever getting used to it. Its now day 4 and my stomach hurts...


Dadimus and Joshimus Prime!

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